The Woe of Self-Esteem and Confidence (And How to Beat It!)

Hello, everyone!

This week’s writing tip is all about self-esteem and confidence… two hard concepts to keep when they grace you with their magic. However, I have a tip and a real story to share with you about how to get confident and raise your level of self-esteem.

Ready? Let’s get started!

The hardest thing to do when one wishes to write is actually sitting down and writing something. But let me tell you that a) you will NEVER grow your confidence if you don’t write. At all. b) in order for your self-esteem to rise, you need to stop making excuses and find the time to write – you shall feel much better afterwards. You’ll see. It’s a step in the right direction.

I know, I know. Life is crazy fast. So how does one sit down to write when we have to wash the dishes, etc.?

The answer is as simple as it’s hard to apply:

Make writing your priority.

I kid you not. I’ve been reading how-to books on writing and they all say the same thing. Guess what? They’re right. I’ve been trying it the past few days and my NaNo Prep improved. 🙂 I am now into world-building. It’s quite impressive being at that point taking into consideration that I only had a concept for the story two weeks ago.

If you don’t make it your priority, you’ll feel bad and guilty for not writing, which is the exact opposite of how you should feel for your self-esteem to rise!

As for confidence, I have a little story to tell you:

This week, I wrote a flash fiction for a contest and posted it on Scribophile for reviews. For the second time in my life, I received a terribly negative review, which came as a shock to me (I’m not used to receiving poor feedback, my stories usually being great). I was hurt. Sincerely. My confidence in my writing took a step back… but then, something awesome happened. Three other people reviewed it afterwards. Their reviews were good and constructive. It made me feel better and more confident.

Moral of the story? Believe in what you can do and share it. If you don’t share it, how can you know people will actually like it? You can’t grow your confidence by keeping it a secret… Yes, sometimes it hurts like hell, but other times (and those are the important ones) it’s as sweet as honey and crucial (as they give you constructive reviews).

You see, confidence isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a roller coaster. Aim for the climb at the summit, though be aware there will be hurtful going down. When you’re at the top of the roller coaster, analyze what got you there. Then cherish it. Write it down, if necessary. This way, during rough times, you can look back at it and know how to work on your confidence.

Did you know that James Patterson, bestselling author of 76 novels, got rejected 31 times when he was starting out?! It’s not because a certain someone, professional or not, dislikes your writing, that it is bad. Other people will see something good in it; thrive on this! And improve what you can. It’s the only way you will grow your confidence. By sharing your work and becoming vulnerable.

It’s unpleasant, I know. But it’s worth it in the long run.

Self-esteem and confidence are friends of your writing and sharing. It comes hand in hand with them.

I wish you all the best with your writing. If you have questions about today’s tip, ask me in the comments below!

On this:

Just write!



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4 thoughts on “The Woe of Self-Esteem and Confidence (And How to Beat It!)

  1. Steven Capps October 14, 2016 at 6:25 pm Reply

    I think that having self confidence is really important in being a writer. Confidence is what allows a writer to keep writing even when they know it’s crap. I think sometimes people get an over inflated sense of their ego, and it usually happens when they go a long time with receiving feedback on their work. I find that some good, soul crushing feedback is what can turn a, “meh,” piece into something that might be halfway decent. If people only ever say, “it’s good,” it becomes hard to find one’s weaknesses.

    • sherlockie October 14, 2016 at 11:19 pm Reply

      It is really important indeed! However, I disagree on the soul-crushing feedback. I think, depending on how it’s brought up to the person, it’s more depressing than helpful. I said in the post that I received constructive feedback, it doesn’t mean that it’s only ”it’s good”, even though it was positive. There’s a way to touch the topic, a polite and diplomatic one so as to not destroy the other person’s mood and hopes, but make them improve. But yes, self-esteem and confidence are quite important for writers. In fact, they’re tools to us and we need to be aware of it, hence why I made this post. ^.^ I meant to help people struggling with this issue.

  2. Did You Know? | Ad Librum Aeternam October 20, 2016 at 5:18 pm Reply

    […] you can read my last writing tip if you can’t wait for the next. Just click here. It’s about growing your self-esteem and confidence. I’m sure you can find something […]

  3. […] are helpful to you. If you also need help with confidence and self-esteem as an author, do click here for another writing […]

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